A temporary “Retreat” isn’t giving up, it’s simply a way to regroup.
I have always had two options in my fight to see my two children, one was to fight, fight and fight through the proper channels which I did as you know and to no avail.
Going to court 23 times and endless frustrating visits to a lawyers office, spending night after night sitting alone writing my affidavits and regurgitating all the details of my failed relationship with every sordid detail swirling around in my head was eating away at my soul and was having a devastating effect on me. At that point I could have taken it further in an irrational way but in the state of mind I was in, the stress I was under and the effect it was obviously having on my physical health probably would have led to me to being behind bars now or in a mental hospital or worse which wasn’t going to do my two children or their memory of me any good.. The second option was to step back, regroup and use intelligence. Which I did thankfully. Playing the game that the UK family court was playing was getting me nowhere as all the cards were stacked in their favor. Frustrating as it was and still is, this way I know, I will win in the end and so does she. All I have to do is keep doing what I am doing because it contradicts everything she tells them. Every blog I write, every post I make tells a story of me not feeling or being the way my children are being told I am. There is no doubt that parental alienation techniques are at work here and are being applied. Recent communications show that very clearly. However, at some point in the near future when “teenage rebellion” starts to take its inevitable effect, that once gullible child becomes an inquisitive young adult and starts to read what has been previously written, they will start to ask questions of significant others such as their older brothers, family and friends etc. Then they start to realize that everything they have been force fed over the last five or six years by the opposition was suddenly making no sense. In fact, what ordinary people with no reason twist the truth or facts start to describe a completely contradictory view and opinion. Judgment day then starts to rear it’s ugly head and very uncomfortable questions start to be asked . All I have to do is wait because as sure as the sun will shine tomorrow she will be found out and I will stand with my Son and Daughter again.
My message to other fathers in my position is this.
You have to go through an inevitable period of complete despair and panic that will have devastating effect on you. . As a normal caring human-being and father it is unavoidable. But my advice is this, when the time is right for you and we are all different and this point will come to you when the time is right for you, take a step back, realize that what you are doing isn’t working, what other fathers in your position are doing isn’t working either and realize that your children are intelligent and will eventually grow into intelligent young adults. If you have put in all the groundwork of blogging, posting and making videos of your true feelings they will find it. There isn’t a young adult on the planet that won’t at some point open a Facebook account or search the internet and when they do all roads will lead to your material and then you. I say this to you for two reasons.
1). You can’t beat the system. Regardless of what you read on the internet or what well meaning fathers groups will tell you. The law isn’t going to change in your lifetime. They are too powerful and it’s not in their financial interest to do so.
2). Any act of bravery, whether it be climbing a bridge or building dressed as a super hero isn’t going to work either. Don’t get me wrong, all respect to my brothers in arms for feeling that they need to do this. But in reality it’s not going to have any effect. In fact I will go as far as saying it simply provides amusement for the authorities. When faced with this reality then a step back and some careful intelligent thinking is the only way to win this battle.
So, where now?
Be patient and devise a plan, start to set out your plan. Spread your life open over the internet where it can’t be missed. Start to tell your children in advance that you do love them and that you never stopped loving them. Tell them that you tried everything to stay with them but nothing worked. Tell them that you never gave up hope and that you were always confident that sooner or later everything would be back to normal regardless of what others tried to tell them. Once you have your online framework set up, use it. Its a great therapy for you to be able to sit and write down your feelings in text as well as being a true representation of your inner-self. When your children eventually read it they will feel your feelings and know that you never stopped..
Don’t and never be negative about their other parent. This will undo everything you are trying to do. It will contradict everything you are saying. Yes, it is likely that, the other parent is telling your children that you are trashing their other parent but, that will be contradicted when they eventually read for themselves.
Finally, you have one life, you have only one chance to live your life. Don’t throw it away in despair, because that is just playing into the hands of what the other parent wants. Instead live your life, have an interesting life full of everything the other parent can’t have at the moment. This will have a positive effect on you and your absent children when they see your online life and a negative effect on the other parent. Isn’t that what they call “Carma” ?