It has to be said that when my ex partner and I split up nearly 4 years ago it was because we came to the end of our relationship. It was I guess a lot in part my fault. When a man says that, you know that it takes a big man to say he made mistakes and he was at fault.
But why is it that some people can’t admit their weaknesses and mistakes in life.
Furthermore, when it happens and it happens to a large number of people, in fact it’s “life” not a pleasant part of life but nevertheless it is a fact of life “it happens”, it should not have everlasting effects on our children. If it does then something went terribly wrong. The event itself is traumatic enough as it is, but when a child displays symptoms of permanent changes in emotional attachment it is a very worrying sign of something happening that should not be happening. Given time everyone should be able to move on and the children should be able to reform relationships with both their “still loving” parents. I will go as far as to say that a bad husband or wife has nothing to do with being a good father or mother. The two are separate issues. Yes it’s difficult at first for children to understand or take it all in, but given time and good, intelligent, sincere loving parents who both understand what their children need independent of their personal feelings then the children will not be effected in terms of the respect and love they have for their mum or dad.
The only variable that can effect the turnout of this is a truely selfish and insensitve significant other. It could be the mother, the father of grandparent. This is unforgivable and in a civilized society should be scorned by all.
I love my two children now as I did when I lived under the same roof as them. Just because living with a partner becomes intolerable does not mean that your feelings for your children or their feelings for you should change in anyway, shape or form.
I really hope the right people read my blogs and status’s because it is critical to our children’s state of mind when they get older. It can effect their every moment in life.